Now who should be the boss?

By “boss” I am referring to our top leadership posts such as President, Prime Minister and Chief Executive.

My humble opinion is founded on evidence garnered over 45 years working experience and interaction involving organizations in four regional countries and top management of US$multi billion entities in the  UK, the US, Germany, Australia and New Zealand.

I have no hesitation in saying; in insisting, that “the boss” should be a woman.

For starters, who are we kidding? Surely it is blindingly obvious that anything that can grow another human being in its stomach, produce it perfectly formed, and survive, is clearly biologically superior to the male species?

As regards intellect I don’t think there is any dispute that this is now a non-issue. Women are, at least, just as bright as men. No one is arguing to the contrary.

That leaves us with the “soft”, but critically important, issue of emotional intelligence.

I had two female bosses during the early part of my career, in the 60s, even though, at that time, women in leadership roles were as scarce as gold dust. Later I worked with males and females at the highest level of my sector, both as colleagues and subordinates.

If I am to rate the females at say 100%, I would rate the males at between 55% and 70%, i.e., that the fairer sex is at least 30% better at functional leadership than us males. In my respectful view their superiority as bosses is as high as that.

So why and what is the difference?

To simplify something that could occupy a book, the central difference appears to be that of ego, not the brash overpowering “bully boy” insistence of being top dog, but an ever-present insistence on acceptance and dominance. Howsoever subtle, this insistence is always there, as one side of the coin whose other side is the acting out of manifestations of insecurity.

Typically the “new” male boss is “suspicious” of existing top management. Stratagems are employed to determine “loyalty”. Loyalty means a kind of personal reverence for the boss, not a fierce commitment to functional integrity.

Perhaps the worst failing is that the “new” male boss actually imagines that his competence is “overarching”, encompassing all aspects of the entity’s functional areas. This attitude has unfortunate consequences for those who actually “know more than the boss” as regards their operational spheres. If such knowledge is ever displayed, especially in the presence of the now sycophantic “sheep” that surround the boss, that functionary is a gonner. The “glue” that holds this group together is the boss’s testosterone.

The 3^rd Reich and its “Heil Hitler” mode is the quintessential example of what I mean.

So a culture of "agree, disagree, agree to disagree ... in a climate of mutual respect" is not embraced by the male boss. Women don't feel threatened by any form of discourse. Resolving things conversationally is as natural to them as breathing.

Put simply, and colloquially, the male boss needs to have the biggest balls in the house, even if he got the job in terms of a now very common strategy that has only a nodding acquaintance with actual merit. This kind of boss is the worst, and I suspect, explains why we have so many terrible failures, especially as regards public sector entities.

Not content with office dominance he also needs to be a “big fish” in the sea outside, so that he can be a “man among men” and establish “his legacy”. Stratagems include “capacity building” as a priority, which is a euphemism for “empire building”, leading to bloated bureaucracies. “Lean, mean” modeling is anathema. “Branding” (attention seeking) assumes precedence over “communicating”, which latter precious commodity women are far more concerned with.

All of the above ultimately affects the operational culture and mode of the relevant entity. With a man the climate has a “combative” chill. Under a woman it has an “engaging” aroma. Male dominance inhibits human creativity, something women are naturally adept at.  

If I had my way I would ensure that on the day that the boss takes up his post, he undergoes IQ and aptitude tests in direct competition with all staff, and the results posted on the entity’s notice board. This “chastening” experience will be good for us males, in particular, and force us to accept a few things about ourselves and the people we lead.

The goal will change from “dominance” to inspiring others to lead in their functional areas.

As said, the above is a summary of a huge topic that, to my mind has a very simple answer. A woman should be the boss.

Sister Mare Nugent SND

Having said that, I must confess that the two best bosses I have ever met comprised one male and one female. The former was the CEO of a company called First Colony in the US. The latter was an Irish nun, Sister Mare Nugent,  who was our headmistress in 1960. The lady was light years ahead of her time, introducing sex education at our school, a concept that the whole world was still decades away from even conceiving. Read more ...

In closing I must proffer some good advice to newly wedded husbands, based on 34 years of happiness in marriage. It is simple. If you want to be happily married, let the wife “be the boss”. To insist otherwise is to invite a long unhappy life of frustration because you simply can’t win this one. Women are incredibly

resourceful and they will muster the children, other family members, the pets … everyone and everything onto their side. Supper won't taste so good ... worst still your boudoir experiences will deteriorate …the magic that only a woman can give will be replaced by "Make quick, I wanna watch Oprah ..."

If you let her be the boss, you will be loved by her and all others in the family. You will also be thoroughly spoilt, to the extent of being bathed by her in wonderfully prepared scented water … even when she is not talking to you.

Of cause I could be wrong. 
I doubt it. 
Just look at how buggerred up this male dominated world is.
Now why didn't Obama let Hilary take over the mess?

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Well, I might be changing my mind.
I don't think women are any better than men.
For a start, millions of them voted for a creature that they heard boasting about "pussy grabbing" on tape.
And then you have these three.
May wanted to bring back fox hunting and was an absolute disaster as Prime Minister.
Carrie Lam is selling out her country to the Chinese with wide open eyes and despite millions demonstrating against what she is up to.
Then you have Le Pen in France who is a racist bigot, much loved by another racist bigot, Steve Bannon.

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Order --- http://proudlyzimbabwean.orgfree.com/The%20Other%20-%20without%20fear,%20favor%20or%20prejudice.html

The Pope, Australians, Japanese … all said it … so just say it too

This is a humble appeal to Lead SA which is brilliant as a concept with enormous potential.

However, Lead SA”s appeals to South Africans “to be good boys and girls” has little chance of success until certain fundamental issues are first addressed. Quite simply, we are in no position to be responsive to such appeals … as a society … as a nation … if we are a nation?

As much as we may wish to ignore it, present day South Africa is a mirror image of its apartheid predecessor; at a fundamental level.

In both models a preoccupation with linking rights, privileges and attitude to race, ethnicity and skin colour is at the heart of things.

The difference is only that the apartheid government was up front and brutal in its stance. Now we all supinely play a massive game of “pretend” under various slogans like “rainbow nation” and “proudly South African”.

We do this even though racism is rampant. I have personally experienced the most pernicious forms of racism from White and Black. I am also fully aware of many other instances, particularly as regards the work place. More importantly though, is that there is a widespread perception that inequality is buttressed and driven by subsisting racism.

Still, like the sheep on “Animal Farm” we sing out these slogans even though they have little relationship to reality. What exactly is there to be “proud of”? We have the most unequal society in the world. Over two (2) million households are headed by children. Over 40 people are murdered every day. A woman or child is raped every minute. All the participants in the Brett Kebble murder have walked … whilst we prosecute children for having sex! The list is endless.

Here is the thing. I believe that nearly all South Africans know in their hearts that we are simply not a united “rainbow nation” and that there is simply little to be “proud of”. I think we know that we have this veneer of normality to mask pretty horrid abnormality.

A nation can never feel proud of itself until it is made up of a populace in which hearts beat as one. That is the fundamental thing that has to be in place before anything else that is positive takes root.

I believe that, whatever may be mouthed by those who benefit from the current state of affairs, the silent majority instinctively “knows” that things are simply wrong … that we should really be together as a people … as a nation … but we are not. We are miles apart in mind, body and soul.

So what to do?

Let us cast our minds back to that day in 1995, when Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela donned the Springbok jersey, and brought a whole nation together, led by some 30, 000 tearfully happy “Boers” in the stands. This was a very simple act on his part. It had incredible utility; and for a long while we started getting there as a nation …

Cast our minds back to a more recent moment; when the Currie Cup final was settled by almost exclusively White rugby teams in Soweto, an almost exclusively Black suburb. We, the silent majority, felt a moment of quiet exaltation. It was so good. The interactive radio stations were bombarded with expressions of simple joy, mouthed by so many ordinary Black folk, part of that silent majority … who really would like things to be different.

Earlier we had all been numbed and dumb struck as the extremist lobby played out their racist hatred at the time Eugene Terblanche was murdered. Newspapers lamented how divided the Nation was.

Now the simple business of Whites coming to settle something that is so precious to them (the Whites) on Black turf made us feel united … just for a moment. This most precious thing accrued because Black people read so much into the gesture … quite a simple gesture in itself … like Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela donning the Springbok jersey in 1995 … They saw it as a change of heart!

It is obvious … blindingly obvious … that another simple thing is outstanding … long outstanding …

White people have  simply never said “sorry” … sorry; not for the evil system of apartheid … but for how they treated Black folk at a personal level … with unkindness … with cruelty … with contempt … at every turn … at every opportunity …

and let others do it … before their eyes … within their hearing … and said nothing … and did nothing … just like the Germans did …

Now we wonder why a firebrand like Julius Malema and his “kill the Boer” rhetoric strikes a chord with so many.  We wonder why Black folk vote on racial lines never mind what. We wonder why a tyrant like Mugabe finds favour with so many. This list is also endless.

The hearts of the silent majority, mainly Black, simply do not beat as one. They cannot. There is a simple unresolved issue. No one has ever said “sorry”.

The TRC had limited utility in that it provided a mechanism for most Whites to distance themselves from the “real baddies”; thus glossing over the terrible “badness" that they indulged in daily … as a matter of course … as the prerogative of a superior race …

You cannot hurt someone and then expect that you are forgiven … that all is forgotten … that your hearts now beat as one … when you have not said sorry. 

The fact that you have not said it indicates that you are not sorry.

The other acts of racism, which still abound, confirm that you are not sorry.
The Reitz 4 saga brings all this into sharp relief.

The gross inequality, still subsisting, drives the point home.

It is as simple as that. We can’t deny it or wish it away. It is a matter of reality that we all know accords with simple human nature. It’s the way we are made up as human beings. You cannot hurt another human being so emphatically and imagine that it is simply going to go away. It is with us … blighting so many hearts … keeping us apart.

So this is an appeal to all White South Africans to now say “sorry” to our Black brethren. Those Coloured, Indian and Chinese folk that were implicated should join in.

Now please just do it … at the shopping centre … in the street … in the workplace … in farm yards ... on campuses ... at schools on behalf of parents … at gala dinners … using a banner before a sports fixture … wherever … whenever … it really does not matter … be as imaginative and/or as resourceful as you like. What is important is that you all do it.

As said, be imaginative, e.g, look a Black person in the eyes and say “I am truly sorry for what I did, what we did, to you as Black people, for the disrespect, the unkindness, the cruelty, talking to your father as if he was an umfaan, looking at you as if you are not human, and all the other things. I am sorry it has taken so long. Please forgive me. I now see you with clear eyes and ask you to soften your heart, as hard as it is … to make space for me and my kind”.

Of cause there will be those who will poo pooh the thing. No matter. You don’t need anyone’s approval to do what is right.

And yes you will be even rebuffed. No matter … this will only prove how hurt and traumatized Black folk were by the cruelty.

Pious statements will be made about “opening old wounds”. Do you believe for one moment that the “old wounds” were ever healed?

Ask yourself just one question – are you sorry? If you are, why have you not said it?

When you discuss this with yourself … and others, pose this question and answer first. Then recall that the Pope has said sorry for the pedophile priests … for the Vatican looking the other way during the Holocaust. East Germany has said sorry to the Jews. Australia has done the same as regards the Aborigines. The US has said sorry to Native Americans. So have the Japanese as regards the Chinese. This list is long. If you are sorry, you say it.

Forgiveness will not come easy … it will not be an event. It is rare that a heart will heal at a stroke.

However, let us join in believing that the majority of Black folk will be touched. What cannot be denied is that this gives you the best chance of touching them.

Forgiveness will follow … in the majority of hearts. Then … and only then will we have a chance of becoming one nation seeing, sharing and resolving our problems as one.

None of us will be truly free until there is forgiveness. 

It is quite simple. So just say it. Say you are sorry.

Remember that Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela simply forgave you even before you said it.

Because of him, and our Black brethren, your language, customs and culture, stand preserved.
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If you think you can do it, or think you can't do it, you are right
Henry Ford
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Now if Lead SA really wants to do something worthwhile … … … it needs to find a way to get our White brethren to accept this


Post Script

At 17H55, on 6 Dec 2010, the day after the above post Radio 702 host asked if listeners agreed with a certain Steve Hofmeyr that the shooting in the head of a White child by a Black was racially motivated. Two Whites phoned in to say it was. One alluded to Julius Malema's "shoot the Boer" rant. The other said "Africans" were bent on killing "Europeans". 

The host disagreed saying South Africa had long moved past all this. 

A Black female then phoned in to say that "Whites should realize that they are reaping what they sowed under apartheid". When challenged she insisted that "the chickens are coming home to roost".

Further Post Script

gettyimages.com

I want to ask where can Zola Budd be found.
You see this barefooted stripling of an Afrikaner girl, despite the evil of apartheid, somehow managed to touch and melt the hearts of our Black brothers and sisters. They spoke of her with tears in their eyes.
I think her small frame mirrored their own vulnerability. I think her barefootedness said to them "I am an African".

They loved her deeply.

She needs to come back and lead a national program of reconciliation.